Skip to main content

Narcissist "Writer" Bear Invites Death

Image
By

Classic and humorous portrayal of the ultimate ignorant narcissist who one day decided he's going to be a best selling author overnight. If necessary, he'll max out his credit cards!



Comments

  1. Self-Therapy Expert (Not really)10:38 PM

    Awesome... Simply awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:17 AM

    Wow, this was inspiring. I'm going to start my best seller today!

    Mitch Kaplan

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:16 AM

    I am trying my best to attend Meetup and writers groups. This video shows how I feel when 99% of them start speaking. Makes me friggin' crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown11:51 AM

    Too close to home, I have a gun in my car...click

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:10 PM

    "Minus 13". hahahahaha. That needs to be the slogan for the upcoming workshop. Thanks for posting this. I'm guilty of some of the shortcomings (e.g., I don't read as much as I should), but I definitely do not harbor the mythic perspective illustrated here. And if I do, please slap it out of me!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10:35 AM

    A gem, a friggin' gem.

    ReplyDelete
  7. sydnee7:17 PM

    Excellent. This should be shown at the beginning of all writing workshops and conferences...Hysterical ....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous9:56 PM

    Ha ha, you got me...I'm laughing at myself.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous4:03 PM

    Wow! Love this!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous8:15 AM

    Do many aspiring writers really think like this? I mean, all in one? I could see someone thinking they could directly approach a publisher or not being aware that so many people approach agents. But do many people think that you can just bang out a bestseller without effort and without some passion for reading, at least in that genre?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CLH3:30 PM

      I had the same thought while watching this. All of my hesitation for trying to become a novelist is because I am acutely aware of the inherent difficulties... but then again, if you get your hands on enough self-pubbed novels... this seems like it might be hauntingly accurate.

      Delete
  11. Unknown2:53 PM

    Oh...I was on a six month book tour and attended four book club salons. Torture. I was unable to repress my frustration at one of them. I "went Philly" on one woman.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Worthy NWOE Wisdom

The Six Act Two-Goal Novel

By
What makes for good drama is a constant. To begin, we combine Siegal's "nine act structure - two goal" screenplay (very much like the Syd Field three act except that the "reversal" from Field's structure joins "Act 5" in Siegal's version) with the Field classic three act. The Two-Goal Structure, Siegal maintains, creates more dynamic plot tension due to the insertion of PLOT REVERSAL later in the story. We concur.  NOTE:  "Plot Point" is defined here as a major occurrence that emphatically changes the course of the story. In the genre novel as a whole, we see three to five major plot points depending on various factors: a first PP that begins the rising action, second PP defined by the first major reversal, a third PP defined by a possible second major reversal, a climax PP, and a theoretical PP residing in the denouement, i.e., we think the story is going to resolve a certain way after climax, but a surprise happens that resolves...
1 comment
Read more

"Top Ten Worst Pieces of Writing Advice" (and it gets worse)

By
OUTSIDE OF NARCISSISM, IMPATIENCE AND BAD ADVICE ARE A WRITER'S WORST ENEMIES . If you ever attend writer events, you will never cease to hear utterances of bad writing advice, the popular kind that circulate like  ruinous viral memes through the nervous systems of America's aborning novel writers. And each time you are exposed, you either chuckle or swear, depending on your mood and the circumstance. You might make a daring attempt to kill the meme in its tracks before it can infect someone else, or you might just stare at the writer with a dumbfounded look and ask, "Where the hell did you hear that?" Yes, the primal question: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU HEAR THAT? Inevitably, many will point to their writer's group . Ahhhh, of course , you think. Why just recently at an Algonkian event , one of my faculty (a former senior editor at Random House) and I were faced with an individual who adamantly asserted to us both that using only one point of view to write a n...
29 comments
Read more

Labors, Sins, and Six Acts - Official Novel Writing Guide - All Genres

By
An ideal first stop... You will discover below a series of scholarly, researchable, frank and indispensable guides to conceiving and writing the commercial genre novel, as well as the plot-driven literary novel. But the cutting edge of the developmental peels and prods as presented makes an initial big assumption, namely, that you are honestly desirous of true publication either by a classic publisher or traditional literary press , and therefore, willing to birth the most dynamic and can't-put-it-down novel you possibly can. Further, you are also naturally desirous of great sets, mind-altering theme, unforgettable characters, and cinematic scenes, among other things. Does that go without saying?   Perhaps, but you must know, it won't be easy. Labors and Sins First of all, the method-based assertions and information we've gathered and elevated before your eyes below will shiver many of you like a 6.5 on the literary Richter scale because it will contr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Loglines and Hooks With Core Wounds

By
HOOK OR LOG WITH CORE WOUND AND CONFLICT Your hook line (also known as logline) is your first chance to get a New York or Hollywood professional interested in your novel. It can be utilized in your query to hook the agent into requesting the project. It is especially useful for those pitch sessions at conferences, lunches, in the elevator, or anywhere else. When a prospective agent or editor asks you what your book is about, your high-concept hook line is your answer. Writing one also encourages a realization of those primary elements that will make your novel into a work of powerful fiction.  The great novel, more often than not, comprises two stories: the exterior story or plot line, and an interior story focused primarily on the protagonist, one that defines and catalyzes her or his evolutionary arc throughout the novel. For example, a protagonist with a flaw or core wound that prevents her from achieving a worthwhile goal is forced to respond to a lifechanging event instig...
3 comments
Read more

Antagonist - Unquestionably the Novel's Most Important Character?

By
Antagonists are quite often the most memorable characters in literature, regardless of genre. Without them many of the best selling novels of all time would simply cease to exist, their supporting beams cut away, the shell of remaining "story" quietly imploding to ignominy and self-publication. Consider the impact on a scene, any scene, as soon as the author moves the chess piece of antagonist onto the page. The mere presence of a Javert from "Les Misérables," Assef from "The Kite Runner," or Nurse Ratched from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," immediately energizes the environment. The narrative and dialogue literally crackle and groan with antagonist. What chances do you as a writer have of getting your novel manuscript commercially published,  regardless of genre,  if the story and narrative fail to meet reader demands for sufficient suspense, character concern, and conflict? Answer: none. But what major factor accounts for this d...
26 comments
Read more

"High Concept"? Sufficiently Unique? - Write a Tale That Might Actually Sell

By
Aspire to be a great genre author? So what's your high concept?...  If you fail to grasp the vital importance of this second question, you will fail to conceive much less write a publishable genre novel - thriller, mystery, fantasy, horror, crime, SF, you name it. Just not going to happen. Don't let any writer group or self-appointed writer guru online or writer conference panel tell you otherwise. You're competing with tens of thousands of other aspiring authors in your genre. Consider. WHAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR NOVEL STAND OUT from the morass of throat-gulping hopefuls who don't know any better? Believe it or not, 99.5% of the writers in workshops all across the country *do not* arrive with a high-concept story. If anything, their aborning novel child is destined for still birth. They strut forward proudly waving their middle or low concept tale while noting how their hired editor from Stanford, or Iowa, or the Johns Hopkins MA program just "loves it!...
1 comment
Read more